Snicker Bars and Soul Work: Turning Insight Into Action

Have you ever experienced that brilliant moment of clarity—when everything suddenly makes sense and you can see exactly what needs to change in your life? That's a breakthrough, and while those moments feel incredible, they're just the beginning of true transformation. 🙌🏽 Breakthroughs are like seeds that need nurturing to grow into lasting change. 🍃 Without integration—the consistent, intentional work of embodying our realizations—even our most powerful insights can slip away as life moves forward. This episode explores the crucial but rarely discussed process of what happens after the breakthrough moment. 

I share my personal journey through grief after losing my father in 2019, which revealed generational patterns of silence and sacrifice that had been passed down through my lineage. That realization was powerful, but integration was messy—involving tears, boundary-setting with family, and reparenting my inner child who felt responsible for everyone else's healing. I discovered how something as simple as my comfort with Snickers bars connected to deeper emotional patterns with my father and my childhood need for love and attention.

Integration faces universal challenges: the pull of familiar patterns, unrealistic expectations of instant results, and resistance from family and loved ones who may not understand or support our changes. When we begin setting boundaries, we often hear "You've changed" or "Ya no es la misma"—and while this can trigger guilt, it's actually confirmation we're growing into our authentic selves.

The episode provides practical tools for integration: daily rituals like breathwork and journaling; somatic anchors to help your body feel safe with change; practicing boundaries in small, consistent ways; and finding community and accountability to support your journey. We close with a guided meditation and journaling prompts to help you honor your own breakthroughs and begin the integration process.

Ready to not just have breakthroughs but live them? Join our upcoming group coaching experience in October where you'll find a sacred container to ground your insights into lasting change. Because a breakthrough is a door opened—integration is choosing to step through that door, day after day.

Chapters

• 0:00 Integration After Breakthrough
• 2:01 Personal Journey Through Grief
• 7:29 Breaking Down Integration Challenges
• 12:15 Tools for Effective Integration
• 16:45 Mini Practice and Reflection Exercise
• 22:07 Community Stories and Closing Thoughts

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

Hola, hola, mi gente hermosa, Welcome back to another episode of Ay mi hijita. Embracing your roots, reclaim your esencia. Today we're diving into something bien poderoso, pero rarely talked about integration. You know that feeling when you've had a big aha moment Maybe it came during therapy, a journaling sesh, after a limpia with a huevo, or even in the middle of a fight con alguien that you love you finally see it Like wow, this is the pattern, this is what needs to change. That moment feels so clear, tan liberador, like so freeing. But then life keeps moving and if we're not careful, it's a breakthrough that we had can slip away. So today we're talking about what happens after the breakthrough. How do you hold on to it, how do you embody it, how do you honor the gift you just received? Because healing isn't just about the aha, oh, oh, okay. It's about how you live the next day. And if you were in my inner spark challenge last week, shout out to all of you who showed up live and or watched the replay and shared your corazón with me, then you know the breakthroughs were on fire, but now this is a season of grounding them. Así que let's get into it. Let me start by sharing my own journey. Let me start by sharing my own journey.

Speaker 1: 2:04

When my dad passed away in 2019, december it was right before the holidays, it was two days after my birthday I had one of the biggest breakthroughs of my life. I realized how much pain and trauma I was carrying. That wasn't mine alone. It belonged to my lineage. That moment cracked me open. I saw the patterns of silence, of sacrifice, of aguantate mija, and that had been passed down from generation to generation. But let me tell you, having that realization didn't mean everything magically changed. Integration was messy. It looked like crying in my car on lunch breaks. It looked like learning to say no to family when all I'd ever said was yes. And it looked like reparenting myself at early 30s, comforting that little girl inside me who felt responsible for everyone else's healing that had to fix it. And here's the truth. A breakthrough is like a semilla, a seed. The seed doesn't become a tree overnight. It takes a lot of time right to grow and really put down the roots. You got to nurture it, protect it, give it sun. Protect it, give it sun, give it some aguita, give it patience. That's integration.

Speaker 1: 3:33

And even though my dad passed away, I kept going through that same lesson over and over, of how there was just so much resentment, there were so many unresolved emotions that I didn't know how to process them. There was a lot of things coming up as a child and when I turned 16, like I felt like I lost my dad already. Then, because of my pregnancy, my dad treated me differently, like he wasn't that nurturing dad, like he was all the time. And during this five day challenge, the one of the days I remember I had the aha moment. Live on that challenge day, because I remember that when my dad, because he worked second shift, he would come home from work and if I waited up for him, especially on Friday nights, he would bring me a snicker bar like those king-size ones bar, like those king size ones. And so now I understand as an adult that when I'm feeling stressed, especially when I was at work, when I needed that moment to like get up, think or whatever, we had a candy bowl. And I remember the receptionist. She would hold the snicker bars for me, the little fun size ones, because I would always come and look for them and they would always be gone.

Speaker 1: 4:45

Now I understand my correlation with snicker bars. It's because it was. It reminded me of my dad, like he was there for me at the end of the night, like I was there for him waiting, and that was back to my little girl that I wanted to feel loved. And so if I thought, if I waited up for him, you know, at midnight that he would, you know he would give me that undivided attention that I didn't get growing up. And so when I have a snicker bar, that's my comfort that that's the one that I go to is because it reminds me of my dad and I and I had that aha moment that I needed a moment.

Speaker 1: 5:19

And, as you can tell, I'm still processing those emotions, like feeling that love for my dad and, especially after he passed away, not having that bond like we used to before I got pregnant. That was something that, even to this day I still. It gets me choked up because I wish our relationship was different. But going back to the little girl, it's like navigating that grief right Of losing my dad at like 16, not having that same relationship, but then losing him again in 2019 when, for real, like he was gone from this earth and I know and I believe that he's with me, his soul is with me, he sees over me. I pray for his soul as well, to make it to the heavens and for him to realize the life I have now. And, like my husband and myself, like we didn't wish no harm, no foul to nobody. It's just that's how the cards were dealt or that's how life kind of unraveled before us.

Speaker 1: 6:15

Pero siempre quería darle gusto. I always wanted to be there for my dad, um, and make him happy. But I always knew that that was like a moving carrot all the time, like siempre era algo there was something more and insatiable right, that like that insatiable dragon that never has the thirst satisfied. And so that's where, for me, again, breakthroughs are like the semillas, right. This was something that cultivated, like the snicker bar. So now, now I'm aware, now I get to nurture and have patience with myself and have that consistency to keep growing. And this lesson is going to keep coming up right.

Speaker 1: 6:53

When I see a movie and I see someone you know embracing their dad or having that like moment, it's like, oh, my, like I. I reminisce on the moments that I did have with my dad and how, you know, that kind of stuff gets me. I know my husband and I, over the summer, we went to go see I don't know if it was this summer, now everything's a blur but we went to go see Gladiator 2. Oh my gosh, at the end of the movie I was bawling my eyes out because that was another movie that my dad loved to watch over and over again growing up was Gladiator the first one. And so just having that russell crowe moment right of like, oh my gosh, you're gonna like fall over and stuff and you're gonna die. Um, it just really got to me, right, it gets to me those certain moments. It's gut-wrenching. But that's the lesson again of where do I need to reparent myself, where do I need to hold myself, especially when it came to that relationship with my dad. So let's break it down.

Speaker 1: 7:48

A breakthrough is awareness. It's the moment when la luz, the light, turns on and you can finally see the room you've been sitting in all along. But integration, now that's a little different. That's when you start walking around that room, rearranging the furniture, opening up the ventanas, the windows, deciding what stays and what goes. In my culture's words, mija no se trata de correr, se trata de sostener el paso. So healing isn't a race, it's about sustaining your pace. It's not about the running. It's about sustaining that pace that you're running with. So think about Olympia. When you pass an egg over your body, you're clearing out that dense energy. But if you go back into that same environment, the same habits, the same toxic cycles, that energy returns. Integration is when you shift your daily choices to match your new awareness. But let's be honest, integration is not easy.

Speaker 1: 9:00

Here are some challenges I see over and over with myself, with clients, with those that I love. It's old patterns calling you back. It feels safer to go back to what's familiar, even if it hurts Like. What I see firsthand is like the toxicity environment. You know that la toxica, el toxico. It's like these recurring things that keep coming over and over and it's still like we don't learn the lesson. It's also expecting instant results. You think why do I still feel heavy? Didn't I already heal this? Ay amiga? Healing is like peeling an onion. It's capa por, capa, layer by layer, peeling every one of those back and going through the motions and emotions of feeling, but then also reminiscing on what is here. What's the information here that I need to hold? What is it that I can like? Dig a little deeper and transmute it to something that's going to serve me. What is the lesson here that I need to learn? The other thing I see is family resistance.

Speaker 1: 10:07

The moment you start setting boundaries, alguien's going to say ¿Qué te pasa? Like, what's going on with you? You've changed. Ya, no es la misma, ya te crees muy, muy. And, to be honest, that's the point. Is for you to shift so much to the point where it's noticeable to others, where they're like oh, look at her, it's like, oh, fuck, ya, se they're like oh, look at her, it's like oh, fuck, yes, and all that. No, it's you're being stern, you're setting your boundaries, you're doing what's right for you and in your own way.

Speaker 1: 10:36

And then again people try to guilt, trip you or shame you into something, and then you feel the shame and the guilt and that works and everything, because you're like oh, maybe I am, me, estoy pasando mucho. Like, maybe I'm pushing the envelope here too much. With people it's like no, girl, you gotta do you, you gotta feel the guilt and fear and the fear. But that's where it's your mind trying to override you, it's in your heart. You know you're doing the right thing, but in your mind you're like no, I should be mispolite, I should, I should be conforming, I should be people pleasing and all that. It's like, yeah, but how far has it gotten? You like honestly with yourself? That's where you need to be stern and firm in the things that you want to envision and then hold yourself accountable.

Speaker 1: 11:24

Integration can feel like a spiritual hangover. Your mind, body and even your loved ones need time to catch up with the new you, and that's where it's slowly but surely right we're going to start to crawl, then we're going to start to then walk and then we can run. So it takes some getting used to from both sides, like your loved ones, your people surrounding you and yourself and honor that transition, because that is super sacred for you. It's a time of transformation and I'm not saying it's easy, but it is something that's going to be serving you and change just step by step. Take it one at a time. Step. Take it one time, one at a time. So how do we actually integrate?

Speaker 1: 12:15

Here are some tools that have carried me and my clients through. Number one daily rituals, small but consistent breath work, journaling, five minutes, passing your hands over your body and saying return to center. This energy is not mine. You can incorporate these during the day and the morning, at night, or you could do all the above and that there is no right or wrong way to do it. I would say for journaling, just do automatic writing and see what comes through when you're passing your hands through or doing some sort of that morality. It's being very intentional in what you're releasing. Number two is somatic anchors. Your body needs to feel safe with the change. So place your hand on your corazón, on your heart. When you feel triggered, say out loud estoy segura, I am safe. And my favorite here is put one hand they cross it over your body and place them on your shoulders and just tap and just say to yourself I feel safe, I am safe, estoy segura, and just tap, tap, tap, tap and embody that when you feel that fear coming up. That is one way you could definitely embody that integrate.

Speaker 1: 13:36

Number three are boundaries in action. So start small. Pick one thing this week to say no to and honor that. Integration happens one boundary at a time, so don't go off trying to do you know a whole checklist of them. Just start with something really, really small. Like, for example, I'm going to schedule time for myself and if somebody tries to override this time, I'm going to say no, because you already have a commitment. They don't need to know it's going to be with yourself and they don't need to know you're going to take a nap for an hour. You don't need to know you're going to take a nap for an hour. You don't need to explain yourself. All you need to do is block it off on your schedule and make time for yourself and do what you think is best for yourself, for your body, or if you need to sit with something, this could be a perfect time for meditation and or, like, if you want to do another modality, this would be the time. But take that sacred time for yourself.

Speaker 1: 14:32

Number four is community and accountability. Healing alone is exhausting, like tell me about it. Once I started tapping into communities, that's when I really started feeling the shift. Comunidad matters. That's why I create group spaces, because when you see otras mujeres integrating, you remember you're not crazy, you're not alone and you're not weak. When I plug into the collective or when I hold group space, that's when it's like wow, that's, it's super powerful. You feel the energy you embody so much because you come into it and everybody brings different types of energy. But when we're doing it in community and I'm able to hold that sacred space. I can pick up on the resistance of the collective and address it, like when we're in together or when you're doing this on your own. It's like you can kind of go out of control and you probably need that soundboard or you need that other person to keep you accountable on.

Speaker 1: 15:32

This was the goal, or we're trying to do this. You know you're doing this because of these reasons and it's just to keep you focused and what are the things that actually matter to you? Now, healing is very powerful and that's where I started tapping into healing circles and I'm going to do one coming up and that's where the mind is so powerful, especially how you focus. And so when you're doing that collectively with people, it's that energy is just 10x, if not even more, multiplied even more. And it's such a loving, nurturing community, the one, the one I'm building, and I am so appreciative of that because it is genuine love and that's the thing that I want. I want it's like a love bomb that I want to set off, and every time that I open space, I do it so intentionally and hold everybody that it is. It is seriously. I was in shock last week. Every time that we met up afterwards I reflected on and I heard from so many that it was so powerful for them to be in such a space. So let's do a mini practice together.

Speaker 1: 16:45

Close your eyes, if you can at this moment. Take a deep breath, inhalando por la nariz. Inhale through your nose, exhalando por la boca, out through your mouth and just keep doing that at your rhythm. And again, if you can't close your eyes, you can lower your gaze. Just keep doing it on your own pace. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth and slow down to the rhythm of your heart.

Speaker 1: 17:34

No-transcript into Pachamama and ground those feet firm in the floor, in the ground, and visualize from the top down, from the top of your head. Just take that breath in and out Through your shoulders, through your heart, through your tummy, down your legs, passing your knees into your feet that are planted in the floor. Take one more deep breath in and deep breath out. Call in your ancestors. See them standing behind you, nodding, saying we got you, mija, keep going Now place your hand on your corazón and repeat after me I honor my breakthrough, I ground into my body, I am ready to live my truth. Now take one more deep breath, in and out and out, and slowly open your eyes and wiggle your toes, wiggle your fingers and I'm not live with you or else I would tell you to shimmy, shimmy, which is like shake your shoulders and your arms and release that energy that was stagnant, and then fully open your eyes and come back.

Speaker 1: 20:18

If you have a journal, I want you to write these down and if not, you could just reflect on these. Number one what breakthrough have I had recently that I don't want to forget and acknowledge what has coming up? What is the first thing you think about? Number two what is one daily action I can take to honor it? And again, this is awareness of something you've done in the past, recently. Number three who in my lineage, benefits from me embodying this change? And again, this is where you can use automatic writing and journal. Pause this to really dig into what is coming up for you right now, who is coming through for you right now? And let your masters, teachers, loved ones, guides, ones guides, spirit, guide you through this process. Number four what resistance am I noticing in myself or from others? So I invite you to write Sin Filtro, without filters. This is only for you and keep honoring what's coming up for you.

Speaker 1: 22:07

During the sacred process, during the challenge last week, I witnessed mujeres sharing powerful stories. One One said I finally told my mom I needed space and she respected it. That is such a huge win, like being able to communicate those boundaries with them. Another whispered through tears after when I was talking to them is that she shared I spoke my truth without shaking. Wow, we did work a lot on the voice, on our throat chakra, and we were able to release a lot of those blocks. And this person in particularly was very shy and would get a knot in their throat every time they would speak up. And someone else said for the first time I didn't apologize for taking up space. That goes to show the releasing of that guilt that sometimes we feel when we want to claim our boundaries, when we want to be ourselves and have that esencia just bust out. These are the fruits of breakthroughs, pero también of integration, and it was so powerful to see that and witness that, especially talking with them afterwards, like over the weekend. I held spots for inner clarity calls and that was so rewarding and such an honor to witness all the various things that were coming up and how we were able to work through them and integrate into their life.

Speaker 1: 23:54

So, mijita, let me leave you with this A breakthrough is a door open. Integration. Is you choosing to step through that door, day after day, if you're ready to not just have a breakthrough but live them, embody them. And that's where just find that community, that accountability and that space to integrate. And that's where, beyond the Lookout because I do have group coaching experience coming in October and that's where, in this container, you'll be able to ground your breakthroughs into lasting change. I'll be sharing the information very soon and gracias for always being here, for listening, listening, for doing this brave work, because it is not easily done at times. So, remember siempre, embrace your raices, reclaim your esencia, sending you so much love and look forward to talk to you soon. All right, bye.